Saturday, 16 February 2013

Simply a moment - February

2.45pm Friday 15th February

We have just climbed back into the car after a very filling lunch at the West End Cafe in Llandovery. Where else would you go at the end of your birthday week if you are Mr M and you love to eat? Miss Em is safely strapped into her seat and is continuing to practise her multiplication. She is just beginning to see the patterns within the numbers "Look Grandma, two times 62 is two more than two times 61. It goes in twos!"
She falls silent as she concentrates. Mr M is silent too as he keeps a wary eye on "...the Richard Cranium" in the car behind us while the Sunday Driver in front tries to decide whether to use all the gears in the gearbox or to keep top gear for best or for holiday travel only.
I used to drive a lot. I enjoyed driving. I would find a reason to drive every day if I could. These days I avoid it. I think about that briefly and realise it all stems from the time when the "fear" started. Can't go out through the door, can't be left alone in the dark, can't read a fiction book because I don't know the ending. So much fear filled my life.
Then I think some more about now. I CAN go out when I have someone with me, I can turn off the light on the landing when I go to bed - as long as Mr M is in the bedroom waiting :) . I can read fiction with only the slightest palpitation and have even managed a murder mystery! After ten years, I realise that the fear is ebbing away and real life is slowly filling that dark and evil place.

"Get the camera ready, we are nearly at Mam's crocodile" says Mr M and I grin as I press the button and make ready to take yet another picture at 50 miles an hour - see? a crocodile in the field.

Simply a moment was devised by Alexa, who invites anyone to join in and tell us all about their own simple moment. Take a look at her blog Trimming the Sails  and join in with us.


alexa said...

Oh my goodness, what a splendid photo! And it doesn't fill you with the least frisson of fear, unlike me! Intrigued to know what it's "Mam's" ... Glad to read how you are gradually and happily connecting with the world again. Love how you've recorded just where your mind takes you. Delighted you've joined in again, and hope it has been meaningful to you too.

Barbara Eads said...

I love your picture---and your story. I'm glad you are not letting fear take over your life. After all, you have MIss Em to enjoy for too many years to come to be paralyzed by fear!

Becky said...

A great photo and it is lovely to hear that you are slowly overcoming your fears :) xx

Julia said...

I love your crocodile! Glad you are overcoming your fears x

Sian said...

Good. That's very good. I hope the progress continues x

Maria Ontiveros said...

Love to read of your progress. Makes me want to put a crocodile in this summer's scavenger hunt just to celebrate your progress!

Liz said...

A great moment and yes I see the crocodile in the field. Glad to hear you are overcoming your fears.

Julie Kirk said...

My own'moment' this month caught me reflecting on when fear kept me at home once upon a time. I love the way that these blogging topics helps us all connect and realise how [to quote Maya Angelou] 'we are more alike than we are unalike'.

Warm wishes for your continued strides into the sunshine.

Julie :-)

Alison said...

How lovely that your moment reminded you of how far you have come...and that crocodile is fab!
Alison xx

Miriam said...

Oh I love that crocodile and the taking of a picture at 50 mph, I do it all the time, its amazing how good some of the pictures are. No crocodiles over here, mostly donkeys! I thought about the quote that Julie left in her comment, and feel so pleased that you are retuning to the world.

The Reader said...

thanks so much for popping by my moment! Had to come see yours....lovely blog, and also glad that you are moving beyond the fear. That is a hugely wonderful accomplishment, and may 10 years from now be even better!

As for pictures at 50 mph, yes, what a task...;)

Missus Wookie said...

Now see, I didn't know there were crocodiles on the hillsides in Wales, might explain the cost of lamb tho'... ;)

So glad you are moving beyond the fear, something I'm struggling with right now. May it continue to ebb and flow until you find you are able to do all that you might want.