Monday, 18 January 2016

Memorandum Monday - clearing up

The clearing up of my late Father-in-law's house kind of took a back seat to the cellulitis before Christmas so on Saturday we all agreed to meet there and do a bit more.
Big Bro took on the shed. He is very much of the opinion that anything we don't want should go straight to the tip and that would have been the fate of most of the contents of the house. "Nobody would want that" he kept saying, almost like a mantra to keep him going and that's when I learnt that this is just as painful for him as for Mr M and this is how he copes.
Mr M took up station outside the shed and let Big Bro pass things out to him where they were examined and then thrown in the box for the tip.
Mr M's sister is having the most difficulty with this. She is the youngest and until now had never had a Christmas without her Dad being there. She moved with the parents when they went to Hampshire and had them all to herself for nearly 20 years so everything in the house has meaning and she gets quite exhausted with the decisions she has to make. We worked hard sorting and packing stuff for the charity shops and for the night shelter and then we went to Paige's in Cwmbran for a meal to celebrate F-i-L's birthday - yes that was another anniversary they have managed to get through. We paid for the meal with the money made from selling F-i-L's boxed sets of DVDs on ebay. Everyone thought this was a good way of sharing the money.
There is still a lot to be done but until Probate is proved we can't do anything about the house except empty it.
I have learnt a lot about my in laws and found it more than interesting to observe how grief is dealt with by those closest and by those who, like me are one step away.
My people watching skill are still sharp and the curiosity that the old medication prevented has returned.
My thanks to Sian at FromHighInTheSky for inventing this Monday Meme to keep me writing perhaps I will pick up the camera again for next week.


Susanne said...

Oh, I know a bit of what you are going through. We are tackling hubby's aunt's house, and it brings back lots of memories. And it also makes me sad that I didn't know her much earlier and much better. There a lots of stories in that house about her life that will be forgotten now that she is gone. Good luck with the process.

Sian said...

Over the weekend I was thinking about a house we once bought. When we collected the keys and let ourselves in, we discovered that everything the lady who lived there had left behind her, went she went to hospital and didn't come back, was still there. Her tights were drying over the bath. Her Radio Times was open beside the TV. I have never been able to forget that. Someone sold that house and took the money without treating any of her things with any dignity. But your story of the care and the thought and the charity donations and the rest is so much the other way, it warms my heart.

Have a good week

Alison said...

Clearing the possessions of loved ones is a very difficult thing to do..but you do learn lots of things as you go to add to your cache of memories xx

Barbara Eads said...

I remember when we did this after our mom passed. There are 7 of us. It was such a sad feeling---like we were throwing away her life. I'm determined to clean out for my girls---it's just so hard. Hopefully, I can make it a little easier, but I do need to get started! We've accumulated so much in 44 years!

Maria Ontiveros said...

Been there, done that. For both close ones and more removed.
For both, I scavenged memories that I now use in my art.