Wednesday, 10 July 2013

The one about the book of maps

I read Mitra's blog and it immediately reminded me of a trip we made to Nottingham way, way back in the 1980s.....................probably around 1986.
That was when I had my shop. You didn't know? oh sorry, well, I had a shop called Armchair Adventurers and it sold role playing games like Dungeons and Dragons(tm) and Runequest, Call of Cthulhu and stuff like that. We also sold 15mm and 25mm wargaming figures and the fantasy wargaming figures as well.

I needed some dwarves and I needed them urgently. Mr M suggested that we could go to Nottingham where Asgard Miniatures had their workshop. We could go by train, pick up the figures, spend a while having a look at Nottingham and then come home. It looked like it would be the closest thing to a holiday that year . So that's what we did. We bought a book of maps of the city and discovered that the workshop was the other side of the city from the station so that meant a bus ride. We collected the dwarves - made of white metal so an army was pretty heavy - and made our way back to the city centre. We were hungry, so we went into Ronnie McD's - OK this was the 1980s ok and it was new and strange. We had a quarter pounder and a drink. I needed the Loo (bathroom for my overseas cousins) so I gave my handbag to Mr M and shoved the book of maps into the pocket of my waistcoat - it was a big pocket.
The toilets in McD's are checked every hour and cleaned very frequently. There were three cubicles and only the one in the middle was open so I went in, glanced into the toilet - as you do - it was shiny and clean and smelled of pine. I flicked up my waistcoat to pull down my jeans and that's when it happened.

The book of maps flew out of my pocket and - in slow motion - turning slowly it executed a perfect two and a half turns before plunging into the clean shiny toilet bowl.

I instinctively let go the trousis and grabbed the book, lifting it and shaking it vigorously to make it dry. This sent water spraying everywhere, including the cubicles either side of me. The sound of doors being unbolted and footsteps exiting followed by silence.
I stood in the cubicle dripping wet,with my trousis round my knees, the book flopping soggily in my hand and watched the droplets of water coursing down the walls.
Quickly I wiped the seat with some toilet tissue, did what I came in to do and went out of the cubicle.
Now I had a soggy book to deal with and we still needed it to find our way around. Oh Look they have hot air hand dryers!! I was busily drying the pages of the book when a lady came in through the door. She glanced at me and did a double take. I smiled. She went into the middle cubicle and quickly came out again. It was REALLY wet in there. She chose another cubicle and I continued to dry the pages as though it was the most natural thing in the world.
When I eventually got out to Mr M he was beginning to wonder what had happened. I didn't dare tell him in the shop so he had to wait until we were out in the street and I could show him the crinkly book and explain.
He said it was typical! I can't think what he meant.


Maria Ontiveros said...

What an awesome story today - of course it had to be when it starts with "We needed some dwarves. . . "
Thanks for posting,

Alison said...

Great story!
Alison xx

Missus Wookie said...

We need some dwarves is the sort of phrase we'd hear around here. Wookie's brother is thinking of printing wargaming figures with HIS 3D printer (not as good as Wookie's tho' I'm told) not sure how he intends to paint them. He spent hours doing that in the 90s.

Unknown said...

Hahaha is this sort of behaviour genetic?

Miriam said...

Brilliant tale, trying not to imagine you with trousis 'round yr knees.