Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Mostly feeling sorry for myself

Just when you think things are getting better. Just when you can go out of the front door without having to gather all your courage and breath into a tight ball. Something, happens that knocks you back down again. What is interesting is my reaction this time.
You see, this time I got angry about it. How dare my leg start with the cellulitis again! How dare that person upset me in the way they did! How dare the weather change to sunny and bright when I can't walk out to enjoy it! How dare I feel like this when there is so much to see and do out there!
The less interesting thing is that my default state when taking these awful antibiotics etc is to sleep. I wake at around 4am when the eczema flares. I have to get up and walk about because when I lie down I can reach my leg and scratch - not good. this eases by about 7am so I can take the next lot of tablets and then I lie on the sofa and sleep until lunchtime. More pills and something to eat and then guess what? yes that's right, sleep again and then the 4pm flare and so it goes.

Visitors this weekend so that'll cheer me up a bit and if it is dry we are taking them out somewhere good, can't say where until it happens. I might have to sit in the car but that won't matter as long as I am a part of the fun.


alexa said...

So sorry you are suffering like this and hope that fun us on its way very soon.

Miriam said...

Sending healing thoughts into the ether for you.
I hope you have some fun with your visitors.

Sian said...

I'm very sorry to hear that you aren't doing so well at the minute. I hope very soon you'll be feeling fit enough to grab hold of that anger and make it work for you x

Barbara Eads said...

Omgosh! This could be my story---different ongoing condition, but same story. I, too used to get mad. But after reading the book "Unbroken" I gained an entire new perspective. Thank GOD I do not have a life threatening illness and there are meds to help me. Each time, I just ride it out and enjoy my "well" bouts!

Ruth said...

I'm late to this post, but I do hope you are feeling better.