Each month I join up with Abi at CreatingPaperDreams where she invites us all to sit down and have a cuppa and a chat. You know me, I love to chat so as soon as I heard the sound of your footsteps on the path I would be rushing to open the front door and invite you in. I would ask you to ignore the dust and mess, we have been away twice this year and I decided that this lovely hot weather was just too warm for housework.
I'll ask you whether you prefer tea or coffee - and then warn that everyone who says "I don't mind" will not be able to tell which it is.. I would introduce you to the Divine Miss Em. She spends time with use when both Mummy and Daddy are working and we have a project at the moment.
I grin slightly as she disappears upstairs to continue with her next page and whisper to you that she has been reading some of my very old scrapbooks from when her mother's age was still in single figures and thought that every piece of writing had to say something funny. I tell you that we have now talked about this and she can see that something funny on a page or two is good but too much funny can be tiring.
I offer you a choice of sugar free chocolate and cranberry brownies or chocolate and blueberry brownies and stifle a shriek as I realise that the beetroot that has been cooking quietly should be done.
I explain that we are now approaching "That" time of year when fruit and veg are being harvested and I am making chutneys and relishes and pickling beetroot. Soon I will be doing pickled onions so they are ready for Christmas. I will not be making jam because neither of us can eat it any more. I tell you that the reason I do the chutneys and stuff is for Christmas presents. I have always tried to make for Christmas, I explain and while it used to be oven gloves and knee quilts and peg bags and such now it is pickles and chutneys and relishes.
We will probably still be sitting at the table chatting when my daughter arrives to take Miss Em home so you will have the pleasure of meeting her before she whirlwinds through and disappears down the road.
You will tell me that you have to leave and I will be genuinely sad to see you go. I will make sure you know that you are welcome any time - even if I am pickling something! I am sure that next time you come I will have something that needs taste testing.
I will watch until you disappear around the corner and then reluctantly close the door before going to the kitchen, putting on the latex gloves and skinning those beetroot - after putting the jars into the dishwasher to clean and sterilise.
See you next month!