Abi's blog and take a look. She suggests that we site down and have a cup of tea with her and talk about....... STUFF. I stopped drinking tea when I was expecting my daughter more than 40 years ago but I do like a cup of coffee.
I would suggest that we meet in Morrisons because they do a good decaff latte or a cappuccino that doesn't set my heart a pattering.
I would greet you warmly and when we were seated, or perhaps as we walked to a table I would begin my rant about stupid internet shopping and how I had spent ages making sure that the food processor attachment shown was the right one for my precious Kenwood Chef; how I had asked Mr M to check that the model numbers were correct and that if I spent fifty odd pounds of my Christmas money on this thing it was going to work. I would wave my arm dramatically as I explained that I was so thrilled with the thing when it arrived and looked forward to the moment when I would use it for the first time. I would pause to give the drama time to sink in properly and then say
"...and it didn't work!"
Then I would need to get technical - even if your eyes were glazing over with boredom - "You see," I would continue, "the little sticky up bit on the Kenwood has some lumps on it but if you look at the hole on the attachment bit there is absolutely nothing for those lumpy things to push against to make it go round!" At this point my voice would have risen so high it was really only audible for dogs. I would pause again and take a gulp of my coffee and then say "So, how are things with you?" because only then would I be able to listen properly and not keep jumping onto your words.
I do hope you will join me for a soothing cuppa. Tell me what you would say to me after my rant - no point in trying to interrupt it.
Would I feel better after you had listened? oh yes. Would I stay longer and listen to you? for the rest of the day if you needed me, although we might have to go over to the school together to collect Miss Em - gosh what a lovely start to the week